Happy Birthday Turtle!

My baby is 6!!! 6!!!!!!!! I can't believe it. He has grown up so much this past year. It seems like not so long ago we were not so patiently waiting for him to arrive while he played "cry wolf" with us. I remember the days when he was so shy that he seemed to be a barnacle attached to my behind who hide from anyone he didn't know and often those he did. Now he has grown into Mr. Personality- my funny, charming, precocious little boy.

I was in really bad shape this year in the days leading up to his birthday and the prospect of throwing a party was not something I was feeling capable of at all. Thankfully the Hero saved the day with some well timed hockey tickets for a game the night before the Turtle's birthday. Not only did the Turtle get to go to a game with just his Daddy, he came home with a game puck and was apparently the good luck charm for the coaches of the opposing team (eeek!). The coaching staff all ruffled his curls as they came out to practice and it was them who gave him a puck. Nonetheless he enjoyed the pre-season game and it became his "party".

The next day he took mini muffins and juice to school and shared his birthday with both grade 1 classes. That night we had a family dinner with Turtle cake made by a worn out mom with the help of cake mix and canned frosting (sometimes a girl has to do what she can to get by). He thought it was great and was pleased with cake and presents. Mr. Music now has his own personal iPod shuffle, the boy is always dancing or singing so this was the perfect gift.

Hanging by a thread

I've not been well.  My body is failing me in a big way.  My RMT with the healing hands is on medical leave for at least 2 weeks.  This was a blow that I am having a hard time coming to grips with.  I didn't realize how much I've counted on the relief she has given me to carry on.  I'm able to see someone else later this week but I'm worried about it for a variety of reasons.  I'm exhausted. I'm grumpy. I'm done.  I hesitate to even write this because there are people that read that don't know me or don't give a crap about me.  I just don't care anymore.  They can think what they like. This is my place.  I'm having a hard time.  I hurt.  So if I'm MIA from here or online or real life it's because I have nothing for anyone right now.  I can barely keep it together for me.

The Princess and the Pea

Another rough night of sleeping that even lead to complaints from the Hero this morning about my restlessness and "moaning". *sigh* Usually my "moaning" is not so displeasing to the Hero ;). I could feel every wrinkle on the sheets, seam on my clothing, etc. I'm going onto over 2 weeks of suffering. I'm getting worn down. I'm really frustrated. My doctor is still on mat leave and I'm too stubborn to go back to see the other jack.... er... doctor in the clinic. My massage therapy has been helping but we have a lot of pain layers to work through. I go today and hope that I will have some relief. I'm also supposed to go to PT, according to the jack...er.... other doctor. I don't trust him and have yet to hear really positive things about PT with regards to my torment so I haven't made an appointment. If my other doctor gave me the script I'd be more inclined to trust her judgement and go. Maybe I'm just causing myself more torment but even my RMT said that unless you get a PT experienced in your pain condition they can push you too hard and then you are left suffering. She said you may have to gently remind them that it didn't take a day to get to this point and it won't be healed in a day. My not so forceful personality would just suffer through it and end up in a mess.

I'm finding that the changes in weather are really a trigger for me. I don't know if this is common but it sure seems to affect my body in drastic ways. I also have SAD so maybe this is why it slams me so hard. I've been doing plenty of research and recently read that fibro seems to affect more areas of your life than any other chronic pain condition. *sigh* I guess that makes me feel less like I'm failing and more that it's something beyond my control. It is hard to push through some days. My body is so exhausted. I'm trusting that I will learn something through this journey but I'm not liking it. I turn 40 this week and am feeling like 90 some days.

One may go a long way after one is tired. ~French Proverb

Fall is in the air.

The last flowery faces of summer around here are my Rudbeckia's.  With their arrival also comes the sign that summer is drawing to a close.  The weather has been cool and crisp in the evenings for a few weeks and while we have managed to avoid a frosty night I fear it is not far off.  This weekend will be the start of my preparation for winter outdoors.  There are many plants that need to be pulled, pots to clean and other plants to transplant and move indoors.  The apple tree is so full that I really must get serious about making crabapple jelly before the whole tree of apples are lying on the ground. Iceman, Turtle and Kodiak have been raking up a pile almost daily. I've baked crisps galore and Turtle took a bucket of apples to his teacher.

Anyone need some crabapples? Have any recipes to share?

Apples, Trees and A$$holes

Yesterday was the first full day of school and about 2:30 pm my phone rings... it's the Principal. I'm not kidding, essentially the first day of school and I'm already getting calls from the office. Anyone who has met my children probably has no trouble guessing who it was for. She wanted to let me know that one of my children would likely be upset when they arrived home today. That there was an incident on the playground that she was unable to get to the bottom of and that caused my child great upset when she was asking questions about it. She intended to speak with the children involved individually today and sort it all out. *sigh*

Children arrive home... everyone had an awesome day. "I love school" proclaims Turtle. Kodiak said he has the best class and is really looking forward to what is on the curriculum for the year. La Diva was still on safety patrol. Yeah... you guessed it right... Iceman. "Did you really have a great day Iceman?" He looks me square in the eye, you can see the wheels turning and then proceeds to spin a story. I knew he started off with some truths but then the tale started to spin in the dramatic fashion that is Iceman. I say "Is that what happened?" Sheepish look... eyes wide... "well.... not exactly... I tried to not get in the middle of it but the big kids were hurting the little kids.... then it turned into this situation:

grade 3 kid: tries to take Iceman's special firefighter hat that the Hero brought back from TO.

Iceman: That hat is from TO and it cost $100.00!! Don't touch it!

grade 3 kid: I don't care, goes to grab it again...

Iceman: pushes kid... says "Stop being such an asshole"!

grade 3 kid: I'm telling, you are going to get in trouble.

Iceman: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.

Then I'm assuming telling ensued, Iceman already beside himself has a meltdown with tears and then his story changes 3 times while he is trying to explain it. Sadly this is a trick he learned last year when "tattling" was frowned upon. Iceman could not process this rule and I told his teacher that on numerous occasions. He has always been a black and white kid, rules are rules and not made to be broken. As the "I'm sorry letters" stacked up last year from all the bullying, Iceman told on friends less and began to lie to cover their butts more. Now he has real struggles with the whole right and wrong thing. Is it wrong to tell on a friend? They of course tell him they won't play with him anymore or whatever and for a kid who is used to being loved and adored by everyone this is just not acceptable.

I'm not condoning my kid stooping to the level of the bullies but I also am a bit proud of him for standing up to an older kid who was picking on younger kids. It was wrong but part of me wishes I could get away with telling someone to "Stop being an asshole!" There are plenty of people who could stand to hear that kind of directive.

I made him write a letter to the Principal, explaining what took place. I told him that we will not tolerate his lies and that he is not to be lying to the Principal or teachers. I also told him, AGAIN, that I don't care what anyone says about tattling that if he thinks someone is doing something wrong that he is to tell a grown up. If the grown up does not deal with it then he is to come home and tell us. We will deal with the grown ups. Last year he didn't tell about a kid with a knife at school because he was only stabbing a snowball and not hurting anyone or himself and that was how he understood the stupid tattling rule his teacher had adopted. We heard about it over a week later from him.

Can't blame the kid for standing up for himself. He sees his Dad, who works from home, not take any crap from people. He sees that he is well respected at his job, in the community, etc. He wants to be him so if I'm going to fault the apple... I should also be getting after the tree. The Hero is a good man and for our son to grow up to be like him isn't a bad thing.

WORD Wednesday

Those who are generous towards God and towards their neighbor find that they cannot outgive God in his generosity towards us. God blesses us with the priceless treasures of his kingdom – freedom from fear and the griping power of sin, selfishness and pride which block his love and grace in our lives; freedom from loneliness, isolation and rejection which keep his children from living together in love, peace, and unity; and freedom from hopelessness, despair, and disillusionment which blind our vision of God's power to heal every hurt, bind every wound, and remove every blemish which mar the image of God within us. God offers us treasure which money cannot buy. He alone can truly satisfy the deepest longing and desires of our heart. Are you willing to part with anything that might keep you from seeking true joy with Jesus?

~ Don Schwager


"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

~ Epicurus

"Opportunity is missed by most people because is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

~ Thomas Edison

Wordless Wednesday

Photo by Kodiak

Back to School

It's first day of school at the Hutch.  Summer seemed to alternately fly by and drag on for us.  The past couple of weeks have been a bit painful with boredom setting in for the older 2.  I think we were all ready for school to begin.  Summer was fun but our family does better on routine and organization that seems to come with fall. 

 I did really well with my baby heading to grade 1, not even a tear from either of us.  Turtle really loves school and I know he is ready to be there.    He was a bit worried as his two best buddies will not be in the same class this year.  However, I was happy to see some of the really great boys in his room and when the Principal's kids are in the same classroom you kind of put aside any doubts that his teacher will measure up.

Iceman went off to his class before I had Turtle settled. The Hero got sidetracked by the VP on our way into the school, the joys of being Parent Council Chair.  When we caught up with him he was giving us the thumbs up because he'd tied his shoes without trouble.  This was one of his big accomplishments this summer.  He's known to give up when things are "too hard" but pushed through this challenge so he could wear his cool new Adidas runners to school.  I think that his teachers will be a good fit for him this year.  He has had Mrs. L the past 2 years for music and last year Mrs. F was his teacher for the extra help he needed for reading.  He is comfortable with both of them and they are aware of his challenges.  I'm praying that he will not be saddled with the bullies from last year in his room.  When we left him there was no sign of either so far so I hope that means they will be in the other class (a male teacher in that room that puts up with no baloney).

La Diva is familiar with her grade 6 teacher as she had her for Math last year.  She is looking forward to being back at school and starting all her activities again.  She was getting very bored towards the end of the summer.  She likes the social aspect of school a lot and works hard at her studies as well.  She flipped her hair and waved goodbye before we got to the school doors.  I hope that she has a great year without the drama of the mean girls.

Kodiak was anxious to get back and has enjoyed the past week with all of his posse back in town.  He is glad to not be the bottom of the school this year and is looking forward to what grade 8 has in store for him.  He was back into routine this morning too with dog walking and dishwasher emptying done without a reminder.  The Hero and I were left scratching our heads because this was not something he seemed able to remember during the summer.  heh.  

It is only a half day today so it won't be long before they will be back and starving.  I guess I should plan some lunch.    

Perhaps my lack of sleep of late has made me numb to that fact that all my bunnies are out of the the Hutch all day this year. It could be that I'm finally ready for a new season in my life to begin.