Saturday, March 21, 2009

Rig Beyatches

There is a term for a certain brand of woman around these parts. Their husbands work away from home in the patch, they drive expensive SUVs, dress like teenagers, have the requisite tramp stamp, nose ring, fake nails, chunky streaked hair, lululemon pants or have their ass crack hanging out and they walk around like they own the world. That term is rig b*tches. They stick together in their little group and act like they are the celebrities. Their kids are usually spoiled brats with no manners and the same sense of entitlement. Their conversations in the boot room are of trips, their newest ATV or other "stuff" related insanity. They scarcely acknowledge anyone not in their real housewives club and when they do you just know that they are talking about you after you've left.

I was in the scrapbook store yesterday. I'm not a crackbooker but I love the paper. I was on the hunt for some for a home decor project. Their were sister rig b*itches in the store with their brats running wild. There is a play/activity area in the shop but that wasn't sufficient for these charmers. One mother constantly reminded her little darling that he was lucky that Tara wasn't there or he'd be in big trouble. I know Tara is the sister of the owner of the shop and she has a photography business. I'd had the pleasure of meeting her on another trip to the store and she is a lovely girl. Sad that Tara obviously had to reign in the little princes on other occasions but mommie dearest just couldn't do it. It was hard not to hear the conversation as they were loud, as RB's are because they are the most important you know. She proceeds to tell the shopkeeper about the last time they were there and how she was worried because her vehicle had been acting strangely with the alarm going off, etc. She proceeds to explain that when she got home that night and went to throw her keys under her mat (guess that is where you keep them) to find her other set of keys there. Turns out she had been stepping on her second set of keys as she was driving and she was setting off the alarm and locking and unlocking the doors. It took everything in me to stifle the laughter. How stupid can one be? It was the perfect summation of how brilliant these woman are. I have yet to meet one that has any sort of education or has held a job of any value but they walk around like they are royalty and us common folk should worship them.

Meow! ;)

4 comments:

  1. LOL Ker. OK, I'm guessing that a "tramp stamp" is a tat, but wth are "lululemon pants"??????

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  2. Heidi,

    Tramp stamps are what they call those target tats in the middle of the lower back around here. Lululemon pants are essentially yoga pants but they must be the expensive ones from this store: http://www.lululemon.com/home which in itself isn't so bad if you were actually coming from yoga class or even the gym. I've heard they make all the difference if you are in a hot yoga class but these chicks wear them simply for the brand.

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  3. I *heart* yoga pants,they make my lardbutt look awesome. I wanna be a rig b*tch. lol

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