Friday, September 11, 2009

Honoring Heroes


Today is a day that many people around the world remember with deep sadness. They remember where they were when they heard the news. They remember what they saw on TV for weeks afterwards. They remember the shock and the anger. Everyone has a memory of that day.

In the aftermath people rallied, reached out to the ones that they loved in their lives, supported America and clung a little harder to the important stuff in life. Years have passed, is it just another day to most or will it be one that forever changes us? Will our children remember this day?

9-11 touched our family in a very deep way, not because we personally knew anyone who lost their life but because we are part of the brotherhood and lost 343 members of our extended family that day. It still brings forth deep emotion in our family and is still cause for our hero to choke up, which in itself is a very rare event. That event stirred something deep within my hero and I believe that stirring is part of the reason he struck out on a new career path which lead him to what he does today. He has always had that fire within him, but something about the loss of so many kindred spirits really struck a chord. He is passionate about the safety of those that serve in the fire service and is blessed to be able to channel that passion into a job. Our family is always aware of the sacrifice these heroes make every day, not just on days such as 9-11.

Many heroes were born and lost as a result of the events of 9-11. Take a moment to reflect upon the kind of sacrifice it takes to be a hero. What are you willing to give? How can you honor the unsung heroes in your life, your neighborhood and your country?

*** This was originally posted 9-11-08

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Monday, June 08, 2009

Vidalias

It's the time of year again where we see vidalia onions in our grocery stores. This is one of our favorite recipes for those sweet little gems:





Onion Salad


1/2 cup vinegar
1/2 cup water
3/4 cup white sugar
1/2 tsp. salt

Mix together and pour over vidalia onions, sliced into rings, in a large jar. Let sit in refrigerator for 3+ hours. Drain onions and then dress with the following mixture:

1/2 cup cream
1/2 cup salad dressing (we are mayo users)
2 tsp. celery seed

Enjoy. Yummy salad. Even the men love this one.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Juice Box Hero....stars in his eyes

ETA- Adding the video clip from youtube for my obviously young readership. ;) Keep forgetting how old I am. lol



Standing in the rain, with his head hung low
Couldn't get a ticket, it was a sold out show
Heard the roar of the crowd, he could picture the scene
Put his ear to the wall, then like a distant scream

He heard one guitar, just blew him away
He saw stars in his eyes, and the very next day
Bought a beat up six string in a secondhand store
Didn't know how to play it, but he knew for sure

That one guitar, felt good in his hands
Didn't take long, to understand
Just one guitar, slung way down low
Was one way ticket, only one way to go

So he started rockin
Ain't never gonna stop
Gotta keep on rockin
Someday hes gonna make it to the top

And be a juice box hero, got stars in his eyes
Hes a juice box hero
He took one guitar, juice box hero, stars in his eyes
Juice box hero, hell come alive tonight

In a town without a name, in a heavy downpour
Thought he passed his own shadow, by the backstage door
Like a trip through the past, to that day in the rain
And that one guitar made his whole life change

Now he needs to keep rockin
He just cant stop
Gotta keep on rockin
That boy has got to stay on top

And be a juice box hero, got stars in his eyes
Hes a juice box hero, got stars in his eyes
Yeah, juice box hero, got stars in his eyes
With that one guitar hell come alive
Come alive tonight

Yeah, hes gotta keep rockin
He just cant stop
Gotta keep on rockin
That boy has got to stay on top

And be a juice box hero, got stars in his eyes
Hes a juice box hero, got stars in his eyes
Just one guitar, put stars in his eyes
Hes just a juice box hero, aah aah aah
Juice box hero, juice box hero, hes got stars in his eyes
Stars in his eyes

We purchased the DVD of the elementary school air band production for the year and this is one of the songs a group does. When we watched it the first time Iceman says "oh no, not Juice box hero, I hate that song". It's been his earworm ever since because he's always singing the chorus.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Where are you Spring???

Went to farmer's market today. Not many plant vendors braving the cold but I did come home with 3 orange begonias and some gorgeous torenia called gilded grape- yellow with lovely purple throats. Wandered the greenhouse at Canadian Tire but didn't find anything that caught my eye- price point or plant quality. I'm on the hunt for lime green petunias, my neighbor found some but I have not been as lucky. We have frost warnings again tonight but the weather is supposed to take a turn for the better this weekend.... about dang time. Our summer is short enough around here without having such a crappy spring. blah!

I have the following plants waiting to get outside:

peppers
tomatoes
morning glory
cilantro
basil
dill
million kisses begonias
peas
lettuce
datura
love lies bleeding
bellflower
english daisies

as well as some perennials from my neighbor that I have yet to identify that are in buckets on my back deck.

My gardening to do list:

buy more annuals
increase size of shade bed
build raised beds for perennials off back deck
add compost and peat to my veggie bed
plant my veggie garden
dig out pots and window boxes from storage

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

12 on the 12th

1. Rainy, cold day made getting up a challenge.
2. Enjoyed a cup of Earl Grey Creme tea ( gift from a sweet friend).
3. Had my nails done while sipping a Tim's (first cup of coffee this week). Got a funky green apple sparkly, smile line.
4. Enjoyed lunch with my nail tech who is also my friend. It was good to visit with laughs.
5. Made dinner.
6. School paperwork, several field trip forms to fill out tonight.
7. Home reading with Turtle.
8. Watched Biggest Loser finale. First year I was sucked into the show but I blame it on the 18 year old, wish Mike would have won. The finale was way too long. the Hero and Kodiak are out at soccer tonight so La Diva and I watched while the littles went to bed.
9. lmbo @ all the wackadoodles commenting on the Dooce's bathroom redo.
10. Wasting time on Twitter.
11. Read blogs and articles in honor of CFS/Fibromyalgia Awareness day.
12. Going to heat up my hand mittens.

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

Monday, May 11, 2009

Let the Gardening begin

For Mother's Day my hero and the crew built me a raised garden bed. We used the plans from Ree, the Pioneer Woman's site. My hero built it with a little help from Iceman and Kodiak. Kodiak stained it for me with some mistint stain I found at Rona (it's kind of more purple than taupe but it does the job and I don't hate it). Turtle hauled away all the empty bags of compost, peat and zeolite. La Diva kept up on the laundry and other chores that day so they could get my gift completed. I'm so pleased with it and looking forward to getting my hands dirty. I've started some seedlings and also been given some plants by my neighbor. I was going to get a picture of it up today but my neighbor came calling and said I could help myself to some of her perennials. She's thinning out some beds. Now I have to figure out all that she has given me as she had forgotten most of the names. I have some iris and a pink rose bush for sure.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Swine flu aka hamthrax aka H1N1

Read one of the many articles on the swine flu today to discover that I regularly have 4-5 of the 7 symptoms. Lucky for those around me that fibro isn't contagious.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

wordless wednesday


La Diva playing for her first music festival at the UofA


Good Friday... off to Love according to John play

Friday, April 24, 2009

Forgot to mention...

Kodiak had his cast removed Wednesday night. He's quite excited as his first soccer game is next Tuesday. He was shocked at how much muscle tone he lost in that month. He's been packing around a stress ball to try and strengthen his hand a bit. He adapted so well to doing things with one hand that the first day it was hilarious to see him almost walk out the house with only 1 arm in his coat, trying to do things with his left hand instead of both. I'm glad it healed so quickly. He would have been so upset if he had to miss any of his soccer season.

Pining for spring

I've been having issues with my hands lately which is why I haven't posted much on either blog. Typing hurts and some days so does using the touch pad. I'm desperate for better weather and while we had a tease of it on Monday/Tuesday, today I woke to a skiff of snow on the lawn. I started some seedlings and have a few sprouts of lettuce and basil so far. My morning glory seeds have exceeded the height of the dome on the seed tray and will need to be transferred to a larger pot soon. We are going to build a raised garden bed this spring so I'm looking forward to that. I've been spending some time surfing the net and thought I'd share some of the latest sites I'm enjoying.

I've been enjoying the following gardening blogs:

My Square Foot Garden

Life on the Balcony

Alberta Home Gardening

Also some interesting reading for my conservative friends (my liberal friends may not be appreciative of them):

Mother of All Conservatives

Human Life Matters and Mark Pickup ( interesting aside~ I went to the jr. high school named after his father and his mom was my music teacher for a time. She was also a dear friend of my parents and I have a piece of Mark's artwork hanging in my living room that was our wedding gift from her)

I've also been enjoying my friend Crafty's new cooking blog "Crafty's Cafe" from which I also discovered Mennonite Girls Can Cook.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Thankful Thursday!!

So extremely grateful for a medical doctor that listens to their patients, is not rushed by a waiting room of people and is willing to do what she can to get a proper assessment of Iceman's learning challenges. She was very puzzled by the arrogant school board jackers test recommendations. She is not one to slap a label on a child and agrees that medication is not the solution to everything. I feel so extremely blessed to have her as my own doctor and for my children. This is such a HUGE relief to me. I have been falling deeper and deeper into that pit of feeling like I've failed my child somehow because of some egghead's jackery. I feel, for the first time in a long while, that we will get to the bottom of Iceman's difficulties and will finally be able to help him reach his full potential.

Monday, April 13, 2009

The Naked Egg

We started this cool experiment on Friday. Iceman loves science experiments and he is quite thrilled with the whole thing. Next step will be to try and shrink the egg. It is very fascinating and easy to do so I thought I'd share it with you.

UPDATE: The shrinking egg is disgusting. It's not finished but it is not a pretty picture in the meantime.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

12 on the 12th

I had hoped to do a 12 in pictures this time but I haven't taken the time to learn our new camera so I'm afraid to take out the memory card. I know I'm a technotard ;). Maybe the Hero can help me out when he returns.

1. Watched Turtle and Iceman follow the clues to the Easter surprise.

2. Spent some time in reflection about Easter. We had our time with my family on Friday when we went for dinner and then attended Love According to John at the Jubilee.

3. Breakfast which included our traditional stootzing with the colored eggs.

4. Watched the kids play soccer with their new rebounder net.

5. Visited with my neighbor and came home with some tomato plants.

6. Discussed garden plans with the Hero.

7. Cooked Easter dinner- ham, asparagus, roasted baby potatoes and cheesecake.

8. Cleaned up from dinner, folded laundry.

9. Got the boys showered and into bed.

10. Hung out with La Diva.

11. Looked at square foot garden plans online.

12. Waiting for the Hero to return from a fire.

He is Risen

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Kodiak is turning into a bear

We've had temps from 9 - 15 Celsius this week which means that Kodiak has been in shorts all week. His legs will rarely see pants until about October. It would appear that over the winter his hormones have kicked in big time covering his legs with manly man hair instead of the boyish fuzz that used to be there. About a month ago he had to shave his upper lip for the first time too. It looks due for another pass of the razor. A month between shaves is probably not too serious but it's all too much for this Momma. My first born is seriously morphing from boy to man. I'm SO not ready for this.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Salsa Chicken Bake

I've been trying to use up the things I have in my pantry. The prices of fresh produce are through the roof right now so I've been using more frozen or canned things than I usually do in my cooking. Last night's creation was as follows:

Ingredients: (measurements are all approximates I just threw it together)

9 Boneless, skinless chicken thighs
2 cups basmati rice (we bought one of those huge bags on sale so I'm using this alot these days)
1 can of black beans
2 cups frozen corn
1/2 jar of salsa (1 + cup)
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 cup sour cream

Cook basmati in rice cooker. Brown chix thighs in olive oil, season to your taste. Add salsa and roughly 1/2 cup water (chix broth would be tastier but I didn't have any on hand) and simmer. In a 9x13 glass pan layer cooked rice, beans, corn and then top with chix thighs, pouring any sauce over. Top with shredded cheddar that has been mixed with sour cream. Bake til cheese is bubbly and dish is heated through (roughly 20 minutes in 350 F oven).

It was a hit with the whole crew which is no small feat. Iceman gave it 10 stars and even Turtle gave it a thumbs up which is nothing short of a miracle with him lately (Mr. Picky all of a sudden). Kodiak and the Hero added some Franks Lime Hot Sauce to pump up the heat. They all said they'd like me to make it again.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Laryngitis??

Do you ever feel like you've lost your voice? Not in the my throat is sore kind of way but in the I can't make myself heard, no one cares what I have to say kind of way?

Struggling through this thing called fibromyalgia has not been an easy road for me. With it comes feelings of failure, guilt and often hopelessness. I can't seem to resign myself to this new path of being nearly crippled, often of less than sound mind with a head full of muddled thoughts, lapses in memory, fighting through a cloud of nonsense, frustration with wanting to do things but knowing that the cost is often to high to push through and get it done. I'm a doer, a servant by heart and when I'm unable to do for others I feel utterly useless. I feel like most people just think I'm lazy or a hypochondriac or someone who is not worth the effort of knowing. I've let relationships fall aside because I feel like I have nothing to offer, that these people are better off without this version of me or I simply can no longer handle the drama or stress that can come from trying to maintain certain relationships. Drama gives me stress, stress makes me physically sick which makes me useless to my family which then fills me with despair about my inability to overcome this thing.

Being incapable of doing all that I used to do for people makes me less relevant in their lives. I don't know how to define myself without being able to be the encourager, the helper, the intercessor, the one who holds others up. I've never been one who is good at putting themselves first. I'm a great martyr and have spent my life sacrificing many of my dreams, wants and needs for the good of others. Now if I don't focus on what my body needs first than I have even less to give to my family. If I don't take "me" into consideration than I have nothing for them. There is no amount of pushing myself that can get it done.

I really don't know where to find my voice again. How to be me without the doing?

Ker - works = no value

I am sure of a few things - my salvation, the love of my husband and most of the time the love of my children. That should be enough but it isn't. I miss being heard, I miss being valued and needed, I miss feeling like I was making a difference in my world. I wish I knew how to find my new voice.

No need to comment. I can't figure out how to close the comments on this post or I would do that.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Meatballs

I just finished rolling about 50 meatballs. I made them rather large or I'd still be rolling. I have some pain in my right forearm, elbow shoulder today- fibro related but I have good energy today so I wanted to take advantage of that despite the discomfort. The crew were at my parents for half of spring break and when they returned yesterday they came with meat from my Uncle's farm. The packages of ground beef were huge and someone left 2 out for me to cook dinner with today. (We usually need 2 pkgs. of store bought ground beef for a meal so it was an honest mistake). Now I will be able to freeze several batches of meatballs for future meals.... yeah!

I've never followed a recipe when making meatloaf or ground beef and just kind of throw together what suits my fancy that day or what I have on hand. Today's batch consisted of onion soup mix, worcestershire, dijon, chopped garlic, a dollop of good horseradish, some seasoning, a couple of eggs and leftover basmati rice for binding.

Do you follow a recipe or throw it all together? Care to share your favorite combination? What kind of sauce do you like your meatballs in?

Friday, April 03, 2009

For my fellow 'The Office' loving peeps...

You have to check out this contest over at Office Tally. It is hysterical. I think my favorite is Beach Games by Simon . Which one is your favorite?

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Monsters vs. Aliens



We took the crew to see this in Real 3D last night. It was a funny movie and everyone enjoyed it from the biggest kid to the smallest (6 to almost 14). It has been a long while since I've been to a 3D movie and they certainly have come a long way. I was sitting next to Turtle and loved listening to him giggle... you know those unexpected squeals of delight that you hear often as a toddler but not so much once they get school age. It made the movie for me listening to him and seeing the sheer joy on his face. Each of the kids had a favorite character. Ice and Turtle have been reenacting bits of the movie all morning and trying the crazy 3D glasses on (made of plastic not cardboard and resembling the glasses worn by the President in the movie). We kept the glasses in hopes that the DVD has some 3D capabilities. The crew said this is one they would definitely want to add to our collection.

Monday, March 30, 2009

What an end to the snowboard season!!

Kodiak and La Diva went out for the last day of boarding at the local hill yesterday. Kodiak was cut off by a new boarder and took a tumble. He ended up with a fractured right wrist which means that he will start the pre-season of soccer training in a cast. He is not impressed. Soccer is his sport and he has been desperate for the snow to melt so the season would start. It is spring break so he will have a week to adjust to it before he's back at school.


Kodiak pre wipeout.


La Diva biting it.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Shade Gardening

Does anyone know if you can grow any vegetables in the shade?

Our front yard has very mature trees. The house next door is nearly 100 years old and our lot used to belong to it. When they built this duplex they kept the large trees. We successfully grow bleeding heart, hostas, begonias, impatiens in the front bed which has more sun in the spring but once the trees leaf out it is quite shady.

This is why I don't craft

ouch.. that hurt to type... I burned the finger tip of the middle finger on my left hand with the glue gun. It was my second attempt to create a spring wreath for my front door. The only money I spent towards it was to buy a $2 grapevine wreath. I wanted to do the rest from materials I had on hand. It's not perfect but it is ok and I won't feel bad if the wind beats the heck out of it on the front door. I needed something cheerful to remind me that spring will come eventually. Now if I can only remember to use my nail tip to type eeeeeeeees instead of my finger. ;) LOL I really wish I was talented in the craft department but it seems to be a gift I missed out on. Don't ask for pictures... you really don't want to see how pathetic I really am.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Strawberry Spinach

We purchased some intriguing seeds the other day. I hope that my Aunt will let us plant them out at the farm. They are called Strawberry Spinach or Blitum capitatum, Chenepodium capitatum. I thought it was a new plant variety but apparently it was harvested by German monks some 400 years ago. It has edible fruit and leaves. I can't wait to try it.

Has anyone ever heard of this or tried it before? Are you planting anything unusual this year? Anything that is new to you?

Monday, March 23, 2009

mmmmmmmmmmm

Iceman and I found a new favorite salad dressing. It is made locally, in Alberta at least, and tastes divine. I tried to recreate it but only had dried basil and that just didn't do it justice. I'm thankful to find another dressing that Iceman enjoys. He loves salad but only ate it with Girard's Champagne dressing , which is not available here.

If anyone has a recipe for a creamy basil & garlic dressing than I'd love it if you could share. Meantime, we will enjoy purchasing this product which is available at 2 of the grocery stores in the neighboring city.

There are other flavors as well and I may have to give them a try. Check out the whole product line at Boccalino Grotto.

I'm going to try one more time to grow some lettuce this year in containers. So far I've had little success but I've noticed some container specific varieties while perusing the seed racks so I will try those.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Are Americans really this stupid?



What an offensive piece of "news". I imagine they would be the first to come running to Canada for sanctuary if they were ever required to serve in their military. I can't believe that with all they have to worry about in the US right now that they find it newsworthy to mock the honorable men and women that serve in Canada's military and RCMP. I'm proud to be Canadian and thankful for the huge sacrifices that our troops have made.

UPDATE: The host has apologized. Doug Benson appearance at a comedy club in Edmonton, home to one of our Canadian Forces bases, has been canceled by the club. Guess it's not so hilarious now.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Rig Beyatches

There is a term for a certain brand of woman around these parts. Their husbands work away from home in the patch, they drive expensive SUVs, dress like teenagers, have the requisite tramp stamp, nose ring, fake nails, chunky streaked hair, lululemon pants or have their ass crack hanging out and they walk around like they own the world. That term is rig b*tches. They stick together in their little group and act like they are the celebrities. Their kids are usually spoiled brats with no manners and the same sense of entitlement. Their conversations in the boot room are of trips, their newest ATV or other "stuff" related insanity. They scarcely acknowledge anyone not in their real housewives club and when they do you just know that they are talking about you after you've left.

I was in the scrapbook store yesterday. I'm not a crackbooker but I love the paper. I was on the hunt for some for a home decor project. Their were sister rig b*itches in the store with their brats running wild. There is a play/activity area in the shop but that wasn't sufficient for these charmers. One mother constantly reminded her little darling that he was lucky that Tara wasn't there or he'd be in big trouble. I know Tara is the sister of the owner of the shop and she has a photography business. I'd had the pleasure of meeting her on another trip to the store and she is a lovely girl. Sad that Tara obviously had to reign in the little princes on other occasions but mommie dearest just couldn't do it. It was hard not to hear the conversation as they were loud, as RB's are because they are the most important you know. She proceeds to tell the shopkeeper about the last time they were there and how she was worried because her vehicle had been acting strangely with the alarm going off, etc. She proceeds to explain that when she got home that night and went to throw her keys under her mat (guess that is where you keep them) to find her other set of keys there. Turns out she had been stepping on her second set of keys as she was driving and she was setting off the alarm and locking and unlocking the doors. It took everything in me to stifle the laughter. How stupid can one be? It was the perfect summation of how brilliant these woman are. I have yet to meet one that has any sort of education or has held a job of any value but they walk around like they are royalty and us common folk should worship them.

Meow! ;)

Friday, March 20, 2009

Suck it up Buttercup

If you read my other blog you will know that I've been having a rough time of it with my fibro. I've been in a flare since Sunday and prior to that I was not feeling much better. This week I had a few appointments so I was in the neighboring city and decided to do something I never thought I'd have to do. I picked up a prepared meal from a new business that was en route to one of my appointments. I thought it was worth a shot to try to feed my family something healthy and "homemade" which didn't require much effort on my part. It turned out to be a tasty meal. I think when I'm feeling better that I will suck it up and go to My Sister's Kitchen to make some meals for the freezer. I have to throw the Martha thing out the window and just do what I can to get through the rough patches. It's better than feeding my family KD or perogies every time I feel awful, right?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Impossible to fail


This was in my inbox today from HeartQuotes. It really describes my Hero and how he goes after things. I wish that I had his confidence sometimes. It's a blessing that he can embrace life this way and his success is evidence of how this kind of an attitude works.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


The tricky Leprechaun paid us a visit last night. Iceman and Turtle woke to shamrocks scattered all down the stairs. They reported that he took their pictures off the wall (they painted me some canvas art several years ago that hang along our stairwell), hide one and hung another where it didn't belong, he through dish towels all over the kitchen but he made them green pancakes. Ice said they knew the pancakes were from him because he left a picture of his shoes on them. That tricky guy also took my near dead roses and tipped them stems up in the vase of water, scattering petals all over a table in the living room. The boys could not believe he would be so brazen and mess with mom's flowers. No gold today... the economy must be hitting the Leprechaun's budget ;) or maybe he could not find any gold coins that weren't imported from China.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Friday, March 13, 2009

12 on the 12th, a day late

1. Slept late.

2. Laundry.

3. Talked to La Diva's music teacher.

4. Filled out registration for music festival.

5. Organized info needed for soccer registration for the boys. Unfortunately, La Diva has music one of the soccer nights and with achievement tests this year we/she decided it would be too much stress for her.

6. Watched too much afternoon TV, surfed the net, felt like crap.

7. Signed agendas and filled out forms for school.

8. Home reading with Turtle.

9. Spelling practice with Iceman.

10. Made supper.

11. Watched too much prime time tv.

12. Snuggled with the Hero and crashed.

Such a boring life............yawn.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Taking a break from the Hutch

Not feeling well. Can't write coherently. Only the Sultan Flokenes people will miss me. heh
See you when I find my brain again.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Birthday!

Just before heading to her Jam Camp at the Apple store with Dad. How they spent the day!

Today you are 12 years old, on the brink of becoming a teenager. You are such a lovely young lady. We are so very proud of you in so many ways. Your hard work and enthusiasm in school, your helpfulness at home, your natural caring ways with your little brothers, your big heart, your clutzy ways, your wonderful talents in so many things are just a few of the things that make you so very special. We know that this past year has been difficult for you at school but you have not lost yourself as a result of those trials. You hold your head high and stick to what you believe is right no matter how difficult that may be at times. That makes us so very proud. We hope that you will always be able to look within yourself to find the strength to push through the challenges that life may throw your way. You are braver and stronger than you think you are. I hope you know that your family is behind you. We will always be there to love and support you through the joys and challenges of life. This next year will bring many more changes for you but we have confidence that you will navigate through them with the grace and wisdom that is you. Happy Birthday Sweetie!
Oh no! 2 Boyfriends!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

12 on the 12th

It's that time again and once again I don't have pictures to show for my day. Here are my 12:

1. Massage therapy with my angel Joyce.

2. Grocery shop.

3. Lunch with the Hero.

4. Put groceries away. Repackaged bulk meat.

5. Prepared fruit tray for Turtle's class party.

6. Had a surprise visit from my Dad, he was on his way back from a conference in Kananaskis. He brought me roses for Valentine's Day. He has rarely missed a year since I can remember.

7. Organized valentines for all the classes and packaged the cookie lollipops for Iceman's party.

8. Helped Turtle make a goodbye card for twin classmates that are moving to a school in the next county.

9. Made supper - BBQ steak, roasted baby potatoes, sauteed mushrooms with garlic, delish tossed salad with grape tomatoes, yummy lettuce, red onion and feta.

10. Off to have a bath..... always a good idea after a massage to help the lymphs drain... while the Hero puts the littles to bed.

11. Watched the Office and dvred Greys Anatomy.

12. Have some snuggle time with the Hero.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Wordless Wednesday




* photos by Iceman starring Kodiak goofing for the action shots (obviously it's time to retire those track pants lol... can't keep up to that kid and his growing) FTR the junk you always see along the edge of the yard in the pictures belongs to the neighbors and not to us. ;)

Clear Skin

Kodiak and La Diva really don't have a fighting chance in the hereditary department when it comes to clear skin. Their parents have battled awful acne in their teen years to the point that I was on Accutane for a brief time (ugh, what a mistake but I was heading to college and desperate) and the Hero has some scars to show for his awful skin. Seeing as kids are just downright vicious these days I've been trying to do whatever I can to help them through this process. La Diva is really just starting the zits and she has mostly a blackhead problem with the odd awful under skin eruptor that leaves an oozing mess on her sweet face. Kodiak is blessed with the T zone nightmare which was starting to look like a permanent affliction of red dots.

They use a skin care line from Melaleuca which work well enough. We decided to try an additional route with Kodiak which was to add the multi plus daily glow vitamin and take him off milk for a 2 week period. I have heard rumblings that dairy is a major culprit with acne issues but the larger reason we cut out the milk was because he seems to have a *warning disgusting* build up of mucous which caused his ears to feel plugged and an urge to hork constantly. When he was a small boy and required a 2nd round of ear tubes we researched other options and decided on chiropractic care. The Chiropractor suggested that we switch him to goat's milk for a time because it has less mucous than cow's milk and could help his ears to drain, along with the chiro adjustments. It worked wonders and he never needed tubes. So when he was saying it felt like his ears were plugged alot this came back to mind. We had decided we would do this milk free trial and then schedule a hearing test if necessary. While the milk free trial worked on all counts- his hearing has improved, he isn't constantly horking and his skin is really clearing up. We also discovered that he was drinking upwards of 4 litres (a gallon) of milk every day. He is a cheese lover and would rather cut out all that milk and still have his cheese. He has tried soy, goats milk and rice milk during the experiment and finds goats milk to be the closet to cows. So for his cereal we will have goats milk on hand. He is drinking more water which is good for him. All the way around it has been a win-win situation for him.

As far as La Diva goes we have issues with her ability to swallow pills so this vitamin will be near impossible for her to take. She is so slim that I really don't want to take the diary away from her at the moment. So we will just keep going with the skin care routine and play it by ear.

Monday, February 09, 2009

It's a Good News Day!

"It's a Good News Day!" says Iceman when he arrived home from school. All of his hard work with home reading, sight words, getting him to read every chance we could has paid off. He was at a below grade reading level in September (like not quite grade 1 level) and he has brought it up to a 2.3. I know most people would be shooting for something closer to a grade 3 level considering his age and how far into the year we are but this is a HUGE deal for him. I'm so proud of him for working hard at something he was hating so much because of the frustration it caused him. I'm also grateful for his patient teachers who have been so amazing this year. He is thinking that a Blizzard date with Dad is what he'd like as a reward.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

another blog

I'm contemplating starting another blog about my torment. I don't think everyone (my vast readership lol) wants to read about my ups and downs during the process (it often feels like I'm whining) so I do not post about them here as much as I would like to. I feel like I need a place to put a lot of it as well as a way to track my days... good and bad, how my body responds to different treatments, etc. Honestly, sometimes I need to just bitch and moan about it. I've tried a few groups for fibro/chronic pain but everyone is to involved dealing with their own issues that there isn't a lot of activity. What you get is no response to your own issues and are left with a bunch of whining posts with little to no encouragement in return. So maybe having my own diary of my struggles and victories is better than being a part of some of the groups? What do you think, should I put my journey through Fibro'myhell'gia somewhere else or keep it here?

sorry for the missing words, I'm having a foggy day and the drugs don't help any. I think I caught them all but I'm hoping you can read between the lines heh

Friday, February 06, 2009

We're under attack!!!!

Freedom is running back and forth from the patio window to the front door, her ears permanently perked up and her tail going. She just tried to nudge my hand off the keyboard and is now running back and forth from me to the door. This would normally mean I have to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee but that is not the case. The yard, the trees, the roof are covered with swarms of cedar waxwings. Their noise is sending her off the deep end. She loves to play with the birds. If I open the door she will go bounding out in the middle of them and send them flying in all directions, she will race to the back yard and do the same thing protecting her territory. They will fly off at first but if we let her do this often enough they will just perch in the tree and mock her from out of reach. She has never attacked them and whenever the Hero says "Where's the birds?" it sends her in a frenzy of playfulness. The weather has been warmer the past few days and with that comes the birds to feed on the berries from the mountain ash, as well as, the crabapples and plums left on the neighbors trees.

We are blessed with many birds thanks to the huge trees in our yard. It's not uncommon to see blue jays, chickadees, sparrows, waxwings, robins and even the odd woodpecker. We put out seed and suet in the winter. We hung up several birdhouses this fall as well. This past spring we had a nest of blue jays in our front yard.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Thankful Thursday!!

Today is a day to celebrate because it is the birthday of one of my favorite people! She is an amazing woman with talents and gifts too numerous to list. She constantly astounds me with her craftiness and creativity. I've had the great pleasure of meeting her outside of cyberworld and she is so beautiful inside and out! Her family is a testimony to her "awesomeness" (stealing Iceman's word). I know that I do not tell her often enough just how much she means to me. She has helped carry me through some difficult times with her wisdom and she has given me hours of laughter with her wonderful sense of humor. So Happy Birthday dear friend! I am so blessed to have you in my life! Do something special for yourself! We will celebrate today with cupcakes in your honor!

Friday, January 30, 2009

Love is Patient...



1 Corinthians 13
Love
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.


I saw this in a local store and knew it was something I needed to have for our home. Sure it's an unusual bit of wall decor but it is also a constant reminder of what we need to walk out in our lives. My Hero surprised me with it for Christmas and I just love it! (I need some help with how to decorate the sofa table underneath it with but that's another post).

I've had a rough week- emotionally, spiritually and physically. I don't know if it's the shock of the loss of my friend, my grief for her children and husband or the cold weather or a combination of it all but I've been in really bad shape this week. Insomnia, lots of pain and an unsettled heart. Through it all the Hero has been very busy with work which has included meetings every night this week. I miss him and I count on him so much when my body is failing me. I am thankful for his understanding when I get like this. He truly shows me patience and unfailing love. I appreciate him so very much and my love for him grows daily.

With the absence of my Hero I've had much time for reflection and to seek HIM. It is truly something I have been trying to focus on more often. I've learned that in order for me to be healed that my body needs to be whole and that goes so far beyond the physical (funny how the lessons of a TCM doctor and acupuncturist can draw me closer to God, He truly can work in the most mysterious of ways). He has really been speaking to my heart and showing me some things I need to deal with that I thought were long over with. I don't know that I'm prepared to share it here at the moment but maybe when I'm more settled with these revelations in my own spirit.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Gotta love Google

Thanks to Google I get a lot of traffic from places around the globe. When people search for a review on an IKEA mattress they end up on my site. LOL My Top 10 list for 2008 talks about our Sultan Flokenes mattress. I wonder if I've generated any new sales for IKEA. It would be cool if you could track that and then maybe they'd show me their appreciation. You know how I love me some IKEA.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

How do I Honor you?

Tears are flowing freely in cyberspace and people are sharing who you were to them. There are declarations and plans to do something about this awful disease... some will follow through but many more will forget about it or make excuses when the time comes to walk or run, shave their head or gather pledges. The cards will be sent, the pink ribbons will fade, the avatars will disappear and the emotions of today will be forgotten by so many in the imaginary world that was so blessed by your presence.

How do I honor you? How do I make all that I learned from our friendship something that is everlasting?

  • I hold dear to those that I love. I hug them, I fight for them, I give them all of me. They stay my first priority.
  • I stand strong in my faith no matter what storm comes into my life. I gird myself with the promises that God has given us in His word so that I may stand firm and be a warrior like you.
  • I pray without ceasing and with great faith. I accept the answers to my prayers as His best for my life even when I don't understand them.
  • I look for the sunshine in each and every day. I fight hard to find joy in the midst of my darkest days.
  • I do not wallow in the trivial things of life. I make a choice to find answers and comfort in Him rather than pin my hopes on the things and people of this world.
  • I recognize that my journey is not my neighbors journey. I rejoice in the blessings of others and I do not mourn what I do not have. I find the value in my own blessings and show gratitude for every moment I have been given.
  • I cherish those that touch my life but I do not let their worries overtake me.
  • Even in my weakest moments I can show strength and grace, often unknown to me but it comes through because it is part of my character. You did this dear friend even when you were convinced that your whole world was unraveling around you and you could not overcome the fear that gripped your heart. When your head was telling you one thing, your heart was showing you as the warrior you were.
  • You said you wanted to show others God through this and you did that my friend by just being who you were. I pray that I can show others God through my life too.
  • I keep your dear husband and precious children close in heart and always in prayer.
  • God's voice thunders in marvelous ways;He does great things beyond our understanding. Job 37:5 This verse will be written upon my heart as one that you held tight to in battle.
I pray that I can walk my journey carrying all the wonderful things that came from our friendship. I pray that I will honor your beautiful life and the pieces that you gave to me by walking out all the things you poured into me. I am thankful that we will meet again one day.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Goodbye my Sweet Friend

I lost a friend today. I was never able to hug her or hold her hand, I've only seen pictures of her beautiful face and rarely heard her voice. We met years ago thanks to the internetz. Our love of God and being parents were the common threads that brought us to our meeting place. Our hearts were drawn to each other through circumstances of life... trials I had walked through that were similar to things she was experiencing in her own life and then things we walked through together. We laughed and cried together in our virtual world. We prayed for each other, encouraged one another, learned from one another. As much as the many miles seperated us she was an important part of my life.

Last spring she heard those horrible words "breast cancer" and my heart broke in a million peices that she would have to walk that road. ReNee was such a valiant fighter through it and late last year we were sure that she had the victory over it. But cancer had another plan and invaded other parts of her body in the last weeks of 2008. It was hard to read how it drained her of her strength. It was a call to battle for so many that loved her and we went to our knees petitioning God for her miracle. We saw victory in small gains and we knew she was fighting despite her weakened state. We had hope that this battle would be won in our way, that she would be healed and have an amazing testimony to share. But our ways are not His and He decided to take her home this morning. It's hard to process a loss like this. It's hard to understand why such a woman of faith, such a fighter, a mother of young children, a wife of a good man, and a dear, sweet friend would have to leave us.

She taught me so much through her strength and faith in the midst of her battle. She was a warrior and her grace in the face of this monster was so inspiring to me. From her I gained a whole new perspective on my own torment. I was spurred to fight for my healing rather than lay down and accept the diagnosis I had been given. I stopped mourning what once was and chose to create the best life I could out of the here and now. I chose to shed some bad habits, stop picking up the problems of the world that sent me spiralling into a pit of despair and made my heart and body sick, to value the important things and be free of the time wasters, to lose the drama, to love more purely, to hold onto my treasures more tightly, to do the work..... and so much more. ReNee's battle with this awful cancer changed my life for the better. I hate that she had to suffer one moment of pain. I hate that she ever had this diagnosis. I hate that her family is left hurting so deeply right now. I hate that she is gone from this earth too soon. In the midst of all that I hate about this disease, what it did to her and the hole that is left by her death I am so thankful that she was brought into my life and that she was my friend.

My heart hurts, my tears are many..... I will miss you dear friend.

John 14 1"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4You know the way to the place where I am going."

Friday, January 23, 2009

Where did the week go?

It ran away from me.... again.... this seems to happen a lot! The Hero was really busy this week with some major meetings which turned out to be awesome! I'm so proud of him! He works so hard and deserves every bit of recognition, success and respect that he is getting from his industry.

La Diva is trying out for air band again so she and her girls were practicing. Turtle was home yesterday with a slight fever and an awful cough. He's still hacking but feels great so I sent him to school. He's good about coughing into his elbow and if my healthy kid got sick it's likely because his whole class has been passing it around anyway. I had my nail appointment this week which is always a fun visit with my hard working friend. Add in normal chores, feeling a bit sluggish, school meetings and PTA responsibilities and the week is gone.

I'm taking the weekend off and will try to come up with some more interesting blog posts for next week. Have a great weekend everyone!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Responsibility

re·spon·si·bil·i·ty (r-spns-bl-t)
n. pl. re·spon·si·bil·i·ties
1. The state, quality, or fact of being responsible.
2. Something for which one is responsible; a duty, obligation, or burden.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000

"I must do something" always solves more problems than "Something must be done."
~Author Unknown

Monday, January 19, 2009

A New Day........

The news is filled with words about hope and renewal with the upcoming great moment in history. It's exciting to witness what many merely dreamed would come to pass. I don't want to take away from what this means but it gives me pause when I see how much is being laid upon the shoulders of this man. It is impossible for him to live up to the hopes and expectations that so many have placed on him in these turbulent times. It's just too much and he will surely disappoint many that are believing that he will be 'the one' who makes all the difference. There is already "One" in whom we should put our hope and our expectations. While he is not my President, I'm not an American, I will be praying for him, his family and for all those that have so much expectation and hope resting on the shoulders of a man.

For I know the plans
I have for you,' declares the Lord,


'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,'

Jeremiah 29:11 NIV


Behold, I will do a new thing.

Isaiah 43:19 NKJV


'The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.'

Psalm 126:3 NIV


'May the God of hope fill you will all joy and peace....'

Romans 15:13 NIV


'...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.'

John 10:10


'...Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man,

the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him.'

I Corinthians 2:9 KJV


'...The Lord will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory.'

Isaiah 60:19 NIV


'Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?

I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.'

Isaiah 43:19 KJV


'Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ:

In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope...'

I Peter 1:3 NIV


'I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you...'

Ezekiel 36:26 NIV


'The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.'

Psalm 126:3 NIV


'The Lord will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory.'

Isaiah 60:`4 NIV


'Sing to the LORD a NEW song; sing to the LORD, all the earth,'

Psalm 96:1-2 NIV


'Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above...'

James 1:17 KJV


'Seek the Lord and His strength.

Seek His face continually.'

I Chronicles 16:11 KJV

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Power of Prayer




Today I am thankful that my dear friend ReNee is home from the hospital. She is a brave warrior who has been fighting a battle with cancer. I pray that she will continue to tolerate the chemo, that her energy will improve and that her nose bleeds will not return. I will continue to believe for her healing in the name of Jesus.

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. ~Matthew 21:22

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Frustration

I've been dealing with some frustration in my life for awhile now... my torment frustrates me, actions of others frustrate me, my kids sometime frustrate me, I frustrate me. I've been trying to get to the source of my frustration and break free of it. Today this scripture, particularly the Message's version of it really hit me:

Galatians 2:21 (The Message)

19-21What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.

Is it not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily.

I pray that I will be able to let go of the things that frustrate me and live my life free from the chains of the expectations of those that do not matter and even those that do. To live my life as I have been called to with joy in my heart and gratitude for even the things that bring me frustration.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Sleep... where r u??

I'm getting so tired of this insomnia kick I seem to be on of late. Tired... insomnia... late.....get it..... heh.... I told you I needed to sleep. I forgot to mention that Dr. X gave me some numbers to say randomly, when I get the urge... he said they would help when I can't sleep. I didn't really get it and forgot all about it until I was tossing and turning upstairs a few moments ago. So what numbers popped into my head??? 8675309......if you are old like me those numbers might trigger a memory for you. If you are young than fuhgettaboutit. lol Now I am not only battling insomnia but I have an earworm of Jenny rattling around in my head.



You are very welcome because I know you have that stuck in your head now too. :P

Monday, January 12, 2009

12 on the 12th

My dear friend, J9, is a talented and crafty woman. She had decided to do 12 on the 12th as one of her scrapbook challenges this year. She will take 12 pictures of her day on the 12th of each month and document them through her gift of scrapbooking. I am rather craft impaired and have not been able to jump into the crackbooking phenomena. I do think that her challenge is an awesome idea so I will try to rise to the challenge by blogging 12 things about my day on the 12th of each month. Be forewarned that it could induce a coma for boredom bwahahahaha.

January 12, 2009

1. Appointment with Dr. X for 2 hours. I had a victory today, I hope, in my communication with him and was able to listen to my own meditation music on my iPod rather than his TCM tape. I had a great time of prayer and just talking to God. I even had tears running down my face at one point and was at peace for the first time since I've started this form of alternative therapy for my torment. I hope that we had a breakthrough in our communication. He told a new patient that we were friends now because we worked together to help me in my healing. ;)

2. Came home and chilled for a bit. I'm supposed to take it easy the day of my treatment so I took advantage of that rule. I only threw in 1 load of laundry and made a strata for dinner tonight. Eventually I made it to the shower to rinse my hair as part of my treatment is a steam with herbal solution on my head. My hair is pretty sexy when I'm done with that. ;)

3. Cleaned out a terra cotta pot from a plant that the Hero killed on NYE because he was BBQing, it was sitting near the patio which was being open and closed in -35+ C weather. Then I attempted to make an arrangement with some silk flowers I have kicking around. I know there are some real haters when it comes to silk but the winter is looooooooooonnnngggg here and I'm not a millionaire who can have fresh flowers bi-weekly. After taking the Christmas decorations down the living room looks sparse. I got an awesome gift from the Hero for Christmas so we took down my picture wall so we could hang it. I love it (will post a picture later... we got a Rebel over the holidays and I am clueless how to operate the thing let alone upload..... stop laughing... I am really that technotarded).

4. Checked emails, read my blog subs and forums.

5. Had a moment with my Hero when he came home from a meeting *blush*

6. Talked to my kids about their school day.

7. Made lunches... blah... one of my least favorite chores.

8. Reviewed sight words with Turtle.

9. Read with Iceman.

10. Discussed La Diva's new psycho classmate..... UGH. Upside is that the class is so large with the influx of new students that they are splitting them into 2. She had the other teacher last year and I adore her so I'm fine whichever class she ends up in. Mrs. W will be her math teacher no matter which class she is in so that is a good thing because she totally preps those kids for junior high math.

11. Watched the Bachelor ( never watched it before last year and got hooked on Jason's story, yeah I know it's total trash TV) and waiting to watch 24... so happy that Jack is back!!

12. Hope to have a good sleep with no insomnia!

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Thankful Thursday!!

1. My massage therapist... she is an angel and ministers to not only my body but to my spirit. I'm so blessed that God led me to her.

2. Today I'm wearing my 4th pair of jeans in a week that I can pull down without unzipping or un buttoning. That means they are too big!!! That means I'm shrinking again!! Woot!!! It also means I need to wear a belt all the time but that will do until I go shopping for some new clothes. I had bought some fleece lined jeans and thought it was a fluke that I fit in them. You see they were from a regular store not a fat broad store and are a regular size... not a size with a W (that's for Wideload in my head, seriously could they come up with anything less obvious???) after it! Feeling a little proud of myself and doing a happy dance.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Rising Up

I had a spiritual breakthrough in the end of November and since then the words "rise up" keeping running through my mind. I've been spending a lot time contemplating what that means. I don't know that I've come to a full understanding of it yet but I do believe I'm getting there.

Part of that has been having to say goodbye to a place that has been home to me on the internetz for about 5 years. It was not a decision that I came to lightly and I've come to realize it was long overdue. It has been a place where friendships have been found and lost, tears have been shed, joy, sadness, frustration, heartbreak, love, respect and wisdom has been shared. I've been ministered to and been called to minister. I was even once a "moderator". I leave there with many warm memories and the knowledge that true friendships formed will remain to be. My season has passed, I must be obedient and move on to continue to grow in my journey to be all I can be. It's hard to say goodbye but I feel confident that this is the right choice and that it is a pivotal part of the next phase of my journey.

Arise, Shine; for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. Isaiah 60:1

To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal ...
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

With a Heavy Heart....

I've not been able to muster up a blog post that doesn't seem pointless or trivial. I was working on a word for 2009 but that isn't coming to pass. I've had a setback in my torment and after such an energetic and relatively pain free December it has hit me hard. I'm impatient and frustrated and was totally feeling sorry for myself.

Was.... until I received news that a dear friend who we thought had won the victory in her battle with breast cancer is now fighting for her life with cancer spread to her bone marrow. I'm devastated at this news and was struggling to remain hopeful so that I can pray for her miracle. I thought I came up to the other side from devastation to hope but today after reading her DH's report it totally crushed my spirit. They have resigned themselves to the fact that this will take her life and are hoping for the chemo to prolong it for awhile. It was as if the hope was sucked out of my sails this morning and I've been struggling all day with the weight of this news.

I am not walking in their shoes and I cannot begin to imagine the rollercoaster of emotions this news has brought upon this dear family. I am completely useless to them in a practical way because they live in another country. All I can do is pray for her healing to come in God's timing and in His way. I must pray for her family and all those that love her, for their hearts to be prepared for what may be. I struggle between thinking that hope is lost and believing that she will be one that recieves a miracle. That this horrible journey will be a testimony for His Glory.

I can also honor what my friendship with this dear woman has done for me by not being frustrated with my own "torment" (seems like such a dramatic word to use for what I deal with compared to something that could take her life). I can have courage to push through the rough days, to make use of the sleepless nights in some constructive way, to hold tight to my blessed life and not sweat the small stuff. I can honor all that she has taught me by her remarkable strength and warrior spirit by living my life the best way I can.

I love you dear friend and I am believing that you will get your miracle. May your time with your family be of great blessing and somehow full of joy in the midst of this horrible trial.