How good is your word?

Living with integrity means: 

Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. 
Asking for what you want and need from others. 
Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. 
Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. 
Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.

~Barbara de Angelis

Do you live a life of integrity?  Do you mean what you say and stand behind those things? Do you compromise yourself? Do you take a stand but then turn around and accept circumstances that are less than you deserve or go against what you have said you'd never do? Do you stand passionately and say things that start with the phrase "I will never" but then turn around and do the very thing you said you'd never do?  

I've recently discovered that there are very few people who mean what they say. When the chips are down many people really don't have the strength to stand by their convictions.  It's no wonder that so few people trust others when so many go back on their word.  Does anyone really respect someone who doesn't stand by their word and follow their convictions?  It really makes me sad that people are willing to compromise who they are. I wonder if they will ever truly have satisfaction or happiness as a result of their inability to stand up for what they believe in and be who they really are.

Mean Girls Update

La Diva's teacher had another talk with the girls.  Friday night she was invited to see High School Musical 3 with a group of her classmates.  She also decided to attend the party on Saturday night.  She had a good time both nights.  The BFF was at the Friday night event and was moody and difficult, causing her hostess to cry.  La Diva is starting to see her for who she really is and has learned a hard lesson.  I pray that this is the beginning of less trying times for her.  Thanks for all of your prayers.

Mean Girls

I'm so sad right now.  La Diva is struggling so much with someone who was supposedly her BFF. They had a great summer together and even made a time capsule with a BFF scrapbook to bury and dig up in 5 or 10 years.  Since school started and La Diva was made a patrol captain, along with the supposed BFF and 2 other classmates.  It has been total drama.  BFF is on some power trip and has become bossy, rude, critical and just downright mean.  It's classic social/verbal bullying which seems to start earlier and earlier with girls as the years go by.  I tried talking to BFF's Mom but we don't share the same views so it was a conversation that lead to no resolution.  She thinks they need to be left to work it out but I think she was seeing me as some helicopter parent and not seeing the severity of the situation.  When my DD is coming home in tears nearly every day it's just not right.  I asked her this week if she wanted me to talk to her teacher or if she felt comfortable doing so.  We also did some research and found some tools for her to use to try to deflect this nonsense.  We found a great site which I've passed along to the teacher called It's a Girl's World.  

She decided to talk to her teacher and the teacher was awesome and had a special "health" class for just the girls that very day.  However, mere hours after the class the "BFF" was again critcizing La Diva for her apparent incorrect cutting of something.  La Diva told her to stop talking to her like that, that she couldn't take it anymore and then excused herself to go to the washroom because she was on the verge of tears. She came home after school and dissolved into a puddle of tears.  I was so angry and ready to call the BFF myself and tear a strip off her.  We finally decided that she should call Mrs. BFF and maybe if she heard from La Diva directly she would be more inclined to see that there was a problem.  She ended up crying on the phone, which I told her was fine.  BFF had been telling her Mom that everything was perfect between her and La Diva.  So I don't know if anything will come out of that but she felt better for doing it. She asked if Mrs. BFF could ask her DD to just not speak to her if all that she could do was cut her down and tell her how wrong everything she does is.  She was honest and raw, sobs were genuine.

I also wrote a note to her teacher thanking her for her prompt action and informing her of the continued criticism mere hours later.  Our next stop will be the principal.  I'm heartsick that my tender hearted DD has been singled out to be the object of this girls jealousy, criticism and ridicule.  It's such an obvious case of social bullying and the pain that it causes is so deep.  La Diva is one that always stands up for the underdog but unfortunately no one seems to be standing up for her.

What would you do if this was your DD?  I feel so helpless and my heart hurts so badly for my precious girl.

Leave it to the Hero

Only he can manage to get  on the blog of one of the most loved bloggers on the internetz. LOL.  Ree's story about Mike and the Firemen tugged at his heart strings.  I can't wait to hear about Mike's reaction.

Catch up

I'm in an upswing healthwise and with that comes playing catch up with my neglected house and jumping back into my family's busy life.  This past weekend we rearranged our living room, which involved shopping, building furniture (same piece twice- don't ask ;)), moving furniture, repurposing old furniture and making space for that repurpose required more cleaning.  Throw in a 4 day weekend, homework, cooking for Thanksgiving and you have a busy family.  We are pleased with our new set up and enjoyed our time together despite the busyness.

My RMT is still out and I've been seeing someone else in the wellness centre- it's a bit of a co-op situation with all of them having different takes on the way they offer healing to you.  I find myself doing spiritual battle with the lady I'm seeing now and I'm not finding the same level of healing through her hands. I look forward to having my therapist with her healing touch back soon.  I've been given a referral for a naturopathic doctor who has had some success with fibro.  As soon as I can figure out the Hero's schedule I will set up an appointment.

Iceman is having some challenges at school.  I met with his teachers last week.  I am pleased that they are on top of things early on and I hope that we can find a way to make this year a successful one for him.  He has some concentration issues, gets frustrated because everything is "so hard" and well... he is Iceman.    I'm proud of myself.  While I went right to beating myself up when I first got the meeting request I didn't let that consume me and am moving forward to do what I can to help Iceman succeed in school.

Kodiak and I are heading to Europe in 2010.  He is very excited about it and I figure it will be a great opportunity for both of us. I hope he's as enthusiastic about having his Mom tag along in 2 years.  He is already asking what kind of food they have in each country, what languages he should study, where can we find info about where we are going etc.  We will be visiting London, Paris and Barcelona.

La Diva has been having some girl drama in her life.  It really frustrates me and I hate to see her have to deal with this crap already.  She is a really compassionate child (and I'm not just saying that because she is my daughter) and hates to see people treating others badly.  Unfortunately that has made her a target and it is even coming from one she had considered her BFF.  I've done what I can and even had a meeting with the mom of her BFF.  Unfortunately it did little to ease my mind but gave me insight into this girls true character.  I don't have a problem with the family at all, in fact one of Kodiak's best buds is cousin and lives with them, however, our views on rearing children differ.  She thinks they need to learn that you won't be friend with people forever and I think that they are still children and need guidance in how to treat people you call BFF.  She basically said that if BFF can't see that La Diva is a good friend than maybe she needs to let her be on her own or with others so she can realize just how good she had it with La Diva.   I just hate seeing La Diva hurt and be a doormat for this kind of junk.  I'm trying to teach her that it's ok to be upset and to tell her friends when they hurt her, that she doesn't have to hold it all in and that she can, in a respectful way, express her feelings about how she is being treated.  She is used to everyone loving her and keeping the peace with all the drama queens.  *sigh*  We aren't even in Jr. High yet.  My heart hurts that she is enduring this already.

Turtle is loving school so much.  He is beyond thrilled that a classmate moved next door.  It's been such fun to watch him blossom from this shy little barnacle to a charasmatic leader.  He loves his teacher and is learning so much.

The Hero is in full swing of his super busy season.  Next week we lose him for the majority of the week to trips.  He is doing amazing and is finally getting some recognition from his company... looks like he'll be moving up the ladder again.  I'm so very proud of him.  He's becoming a bit of a "celebrity" in the industry as well. lol

The Hero's cousin was the first guy to be eliminated from SYTYCD-Canada last week.  I felt so badly for him, he was visibly shocked. I thought he did an amazing solo.  I did have a sinking feeling he might be ousted by default because I figured they'd keep the ballroom guy and knew Blake loved Dario. I am sure that Kevin will be richer for the experience and I am confident that he has great things in his future.  You can check out his journey here.

mmmmmm... Fall Stew

I was perusing the aisles of Extra Foods (a mini Superstore) in a neighboring town while La Diva had piano lessons. I rarely get to this store but have enjoyed several products from there in the past. This time I picked up the PC Memories of Burgundy Burgundy Beef Stew Spice & Recipe Kit. I thought I had most of the ingredients for the recipe at home and with the fall weather stew sounded like a great idea. I must admit that when it came time to making it I didn't have all the ingredients listed on the recipe so I made stew like I normall would but with the addition of these spices and the red wine of course. It was delicious.  The family wanted to know what was different about the stew. The smell was heavenly and I was drooling all day as it simmered in the crock pot. I will likely try some of the other spice combos available.

Almost Famous

The Hero's cousin made it into the top 20 for So You Think You Can Dance Canada. We haven't had much contact with him now that he is all grown up. His family was the first part of the Hero's family that I met when we started dating. Kevin was quite the little dancer back then. I know how big dancing was in his life as a child and remember him putting on a show at our wedding reception much to the delight of the little girls in attendance. I also remember watching him in competitions in Cowtown when we lived there. He has certainly come a long way and we wish him much success as he takes on this new challenge. You can check him out at SYTYCD-Canada



Hey he didn't get his cousin's gift of gab but the Hero didn't inherit any of those moves either. heh