Wednesday, August 22, 2007


That always gets attention on internet forums. People flock to the posts that are moaning, complaining or griping about something or someone. I'm finding more often than not at one site I frequent that the vents are about their spouse. This aggravates me to no end. I am sure if the shoe was on the other foot that these same women would be loosing their minds to find that their DH's were venting to their buddies or co-workers or strangers on the internet about their behavior, their lack of action in certain aspects of their lives together, etc.

What does "venting" accomplish? I hear things like "if I don't get this off my chest I'm going to explode" or others who just vent to get commiseration or validation that they are somehow the right party in the situation. The thing is you are not getting a true picture of their relationship. You are getting a skewed view from their eyes of how perfect, hard working, Godly, hard done by or whatever they think they are. The fact of the matter is that it takes 2 to make a marriage and 2 to break a marriage. I just don't see how venting is an effective tool for making things better. If you are venting at your spouse he more than likely has tuned you out by the second sentence. If you are looking for commiseration or validation than you are wallowing in the problem rather than finding a solution. If you will explode if you don't "vent" to the world than you need to exercise some self-control.

Surely there is a better way to express our feelings than "venting". Surely our time is better spent looking for solutions to the things that drive you mad over letting them bottle up to the point that the need for an explosive vent occurs.

I hardly have all the answers nor do I live the perfect life free from controversy, disappointment or strong emotion. In fact, this is venting my frustration of these women bashing their men. So maybe it isn't the act of venting that bothers me so much but the bashing of ones spouse in that vent.

Proverbs 15:1~ A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.

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