The Princess and the Pea

Another rough night of sleeping that even lead to complaints from the Hero this morning about my restlessness and "moaning". *sigh* Usually my "moaning" is not so displeasing to the Hero ;). I could feel every wrinkle on the sheets, seam on my clothing, etc. I'm going onto over 2 weeks of suffering. I'm getting worn down. I'm really frustrated. My doctor is still on mat leave and I'm too stubborn to go back to see the other jack.... er... doctor in the clinic. My massage therapy has been helping but we have a lot of pain layers to work through. I go today and hope that I will have some relief. I'm also supposed to go to PT, according to the jack...er.... other doctor. I don't trust him and have yet to hear really positive things about PT with regards to my torment so I haven't made an appointment. If my other doctor gave me the script I'd be more inclined to trust her judgement and go. Maybe I'm just causing myself more torment but even my RMT said that unless you get a PT experienced in your pain condition they can push you too hard and then you are left suffering. She said you may have to gently remind them that it didn't take a day to get to this point and it won't be healed in a day. My not so forceful personality would just suffer through it and end up in a mess.

I'm finding that the changes in weather are really a trigger for me. I don't know if this is common but it sure seems to affect my body in drastic ways. I also have SAD so maybe this is why it slams me so hard. I've been doing plenty of research and recently read that fibro seems to affect more areas of your life than any other chronic pain condition. *sigh* I guess that makes me feel less like I'm failing and more that it's something beyond my control. It is hard to push through some days. My body is so exhausted. I'm trusting that I will learn something through this journey but I'm not liking it. I turn 40 this week and am feeling like 90 some days.

One may go a long way after one is tired. ~French Proverb